I liked how your build suspense at the beginning, with Rodney half-hearing and seeing things, even the coffee machine seeming to make ominously chittering noises. Then, the pace of events and description of characters (including conflicted John, compelled to do evil but hoping for a "defeat" that rescues him and the others) worked really well. This could be read as an AU fantasy, as a prequel to SGA, or as canon Rodney's dream/nightmare. I think that ambiguity is a plus and enjoyed it.